Voice of British Muslim Women

Sofia Aamir, London

‘How do Muslim men keep their vows with their first partner if they are allowed to marry four times?’, asked my teacher. As a 14-year-old, sitting in a Religious Education lesson, I had no answer! Honestly, it got me thinking too. Now, 6 years later, I wish I could go back in time to answer the question. So, here I am to say something on this issue.

Time and time again, polygamy in Islam is highlighted as a grave issue, a hurdle in way of discussing Islam. First of all, the concept of marriage in religions vary. In Christianity, marriage is based on vows taken at the time of marriage whereas in Islam marriage is seen to be a contract between the two. The distinction is vital in answering the question since Islam emphasises the importance of fulfilling promises especially the ones which are made to Allah the Almighty as can be demonstrated in the following Quranic verse “…and fulfil the covenant; for the covenant shall be questioned about.” (Surah Bani Isra’il, 17:35). Had marriage been seen as a promise between the two as is the case in Christianity then there would never be an option of coming out of it or of divorce.  Marriage is a sacred institution in Islam with great objectives to achieve from it; far off from the thought that men marry multiple times to pursue their lust. Nowhere in the Qur’an, or teachings of Islam the purpose of marriage is described as a way of fulfilling lust and sensuality, thus it is a complete misconception to think this way. There are other objectives described in the Holy Qur’an such as: Marriage in Islam is a protection against physical, moral and spiritual ailments (4:25; 2:188), it is for the continuation of human life (2:224), it is for companionship and peace of mind (30:22) and for the growth of relations of love and compassion (30:22; 4:2).

Marrying more than once at a time is not a rule! But it is a provision for certain circumstances. Islam does not encourage polygamy, instead discourages the practice. Allah states in the Holy Qur’an: “And if you fear you will not deal justly , then marry only one…” (Holy Qur’an, 4:4). In fact, Islam is the only religion which limits the number of partners a man can have because in an ancient practice, there was no limit of how many wives one could have. The fourth caliph of the Ahmadiyya Muslim community, His Holiness Mirza Tahir Ahmad  , in explaining the circumstances in which Islam gives permission for men to marry more than once wrote, “…it is evident from a study of the Holy Quran that a special situation of a post-war period is being discussed. It is a time when a society is left with a large number of orphans and young widows, and the balance of male and female population is severely disturbed. A similar situation prevailed in Germany after the Second World War… There were a large number of virgins, dejected spinsters and young widows for whom it was impossible to get married” (Islam’s Response to Contemporary Issues, p. 98). Islam provides a practical solution for circumstances like these and it does so to protect the moral condition of  individuals and of the society as a whole. Islam shows mercy and compassion and by providing such solution, actually gives justice for those widows, orphans and virgins who otherwise would be abandoned.

There are other reasons for polygamy as well such as: you can take a second wife  if your first wife cannot bear children because one of the purposes of marriage in Islam is the continuation of human life. Even women are allowed to take divorce from their husband, if they wish to, if the husband is chronically ill. One may ask, why are women not allowed to marry more than once at a time?  The answer to this is that Allah the Almighty has created men and women differently, although similar but not the same, there is different design and different intent. Given human nature, having two or more husbands to one wife is bound to cause conflict between them and the families. More than this there will always be a confusion about the lineage of each child. We need to understand that Islam is a universal religion, which keeps into account good of individuals but also greater good of the society as a whole. Nevertheless, women are not restricted to stay with a man if they are not fulfilling the objectives of marriage. Women can recourse through divorce. Polygamy is the solution and path presented by Islam because it can bring greater benefits than harm to individuals and the society as a whole compared to having two husbands to a wife.

Polygamy puts greater responsibility on men; hence they will certainly be accountable for their treatment with their wives. Allah the Almighty has put a condition of just treatment and of taqwa; righteousness when taking such decisions. Finally, it must be emphasised that Ahmadi Muslims are required to follow and obey the laws of the country they reside in as long as the laws do not conflict with commandments of Allah which are clearly taught to be expressed.