Voice of British Muslim Women

Fatiha Nadeem, Bradford

The Cambridge dictionary defines the act to forgive as, “to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done, or not punish them for something.” (1)

As humans, it is rational to feel anger and resentment towards those who hurt us and at times, we may even want to punish them for what they did. After all, if someone hurts us, it only seems fair to hurt them back, right? Wrong.

The way we think can either positively or negatively affect the quality of our life. For instance, when somebody hurts us and we do not forgive them, we develop feelings of anger and resentment because instead of processing the hurt, we hold on to the pain and continuously replay it in our minds. We constantly think about the wrong done to us, increasing our bitterness and resistance to forgive. Eventually, due to our unresolved emotions, we begin to treat others in a harsh manner, become distrustful and defensive toward others (intentionally or unintentionally) and with new conflicts arising, this resentment increases.

Now, this way of thinking only deepens the cycle of pain and this cycle continues until we forgive. And forgiveness isn’t easy; it’s hard, it’s heavy and it hurts, requiring both mental and physical strength.

However, when we choose to forgive, we consciously decide to let go of resentment and begin the cycle of healing, in which the painful event still occurs, but instead of repressing our emotions, we recognise the pain and reflect on it. This further enables us to heal, become emotionally balanced and have healthier interactions with others.

Research suggests that forgiveness leads to fewer physical and mental health conditions and that forgiving others can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and blood pressure, while also improving sleep and overall well-being. By contrast, holding grudges keeps the body in a prolonged stress response, which can increase the risk of illnesses such as heart disease and depression. (2)

More significantly, as Muslims, if we believe God Almighty has forgiven us countless times, then how can we refuse to forgive another human whom He has created? In fact, Allah the Almighty states in the Holy Qur’an, “Whoso forgives and his act brings about reformation, his reward is with Allah. Surely, He loves not the wrongdoers.” (42:41) (3)

With this in mind, especially as Ahmadi Muslims, forgiveness should be a natural part of who we are. Especially in challenging circumstances, we should strive to embody the perfect characteristics of Allah the Almighty, through showing mercy and compassion to our fellow human beings. In this way, forgiveness isn’t merely a moral act, rather, it becomes a spiritual reward.

Furthermore, His Holiness Mirza Ghulam Ahmad (on whom be peace), the founder of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, once stated ‘Until the heart is pure, prayer is not accepted. If your heart is filled with grudges regarding a person even in relation to a certain worldly matter, your prayer cannot be accepted.’ (4) This powerful statement highlights the deep spiritual importance of forgiveness within Islam and that holding grudges and choosing not to forgive not only creates barriers between us and humanity, rather, it prevents our prayers from being accepted and removes purity from our hearts.

So, during this holy month of Ramadan, let’s turn to Allah the Almighty in prayer, asking him to grant us the strength to forgive, the patience to endure and that He fills our hearts with resilience, tranquillity and compassion.

References:

(1) FORGIVE | English meaning – Cambridge Dictionary

(2) Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It | Johns Hopkins Medicine

(3) Holy Quran: Chapter 42: Ash-Shura

(4) The Essence of Mindful Prayers