Voice of British Muslim Women

Iffat Mirza Rashid, Alton

A hard pill to swallow is that, at the end of the day, we really don’t know others as well as we might like to think we do; even those that we love dearly, we may have grown up with them as best friends or as siblings, even under one roof. And as much as we like to think we know them like the back of our hands, our knowledge of them, as it is regarding all things in life, is limited. At the end of the day, we can’t know everyone’s thoughts and importantly, cannot know everyone’s intentions.

And yet we are ready to make many assumptions and comments on the intentions of others, and therefore, if not socially, at least mentally, we will condemn them for whatever we think they may or may not have done and for whatever reason we may think.

This has become all the more common as people turn to share more and more about their personal lives on social media. And social media, once a way to connect friends and social circles, now means that strangers from different points of the globe are all connecting with one another, sharing their personal stories, and I’ve noticed, often comment sections are full of debate about the words or actions of the person who posted. As we mindlessly scroll for hours on end, we’ll find ourselves sinking into the quicksand of judgment, immediately forgetting that we do not know these people in real life.

But the reality is, is that we do not just have this attitude towards strangers online but also our class fellows, our colleagues, our neighbours. It is very easy to make assumptions about others and to think we know their intentions.

In a climate of ‘cancel culture’ it appears as though without realising it, everyone is engaged in some sort of witch-hunt and in order to be ‘successful’ in doing so, one must engage in ill-thinking. The consequences of this are far-reaching, both for the accuser and for the accused.

It seems like a simple thing to avoid. We all grew up hearing that gossip is bad, unproductive, idle talk. And we all like to think we’re above it, but truly, it is one of those vices that sneaks up upon us. It’s rarely, if ever, a conscious decision, and to engage in ill-thinking of others is always easier than thinking well of others’ intentions, partly because thinking well forces us to act with humility, again something easier said than done.

There is a narration regarding this very matter from the days of early Islam. During a battle, Hazrat Usama (may Allah be pleased with him) a young companion of the Holy Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was face to face with a disbeliever who immediately recited the Islamic declaration of faith, the Kalima; however Hazrat Usama (may Allah be pleased with him) still killed the disbeliever as he believed that he only did so out of fear of being killed. Hazrat Usama (may Allah be pleased with him) relates, ‘I mentioned this incident to the Holy Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The Holy Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) replied, ‘did you kill him even after he had recited the Kalima?’ I replied, ‘he only recited it in order to be saved from being killed.’ The Holy Prophet said, ‘did you cut open his heart and see?’ This narration reminds us that even in the most difficult circumstances one may face, even in a situation of life and death, one must assume the best in others and to never speak of others’ intentions.

As I’ve grown, I’ve found that the teachings of Islam, and of religion more broadly, often sound very easy, but entail a lot of self-reflection and inner struggle. For example, the teaching of Jesus (on whom be peace), central to Christianity, to ‘love thy neighbour’ sounds easy to do, and of course Islam also teaches this sentiment. Chapter 4, verse 37 of the Holy Qur’an states:

“And worship Allah and associate naught with Him, and show kindness to parents, and to kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and to the neighbour that is a kinsman and the neighbour that is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess. Surely, Allah loves not the proud and the boastful,”

Extending the definition of neighbour to even strangers reminds us that we must show kindness even to those to whom it may not come as natural, and this always means to conduct ourselves with humility. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) wrote in his book Noah’s Ark ‘Become humble, tolerant, well-intentioned and compassionate towards God’s creation so that you may be accepted by God’ (page 19). These words remind us that to attain Allah’s mercy and love, we must extend that to His creation.

Always thinking well of others isn’t easy, especially when we feel as though we have been personally wronged. It requires a conscious setting aside of the ego, and a means of reconciling with someone else (even if only in our heads). Thus, this teaching, which sounds easy, comes to be one of our greatest struggles. However, now in the Twenty-First Century, in this era of ‘cancel culture’ I cannot imagine when this may be more needed.