Voice of British Muslim Women

Mahrukh Arif-Tayyeb, Newcastle

We have all heard of the expression ‘words can make or break a person’, but do we deeply reflect on it? As we begin the holy month of Ramadan and navigate through its first Ashra (ten days), let us pause and think of the last time somebody’s words hurt our feelings and made us feel vulnerable as human beings. Surely the pain caused by words can be immense, sometimes more difficult to process than a physical slap on the face because once uttered, word can never really be taken back. A positive word can instantly boost our mood, and a bad word shatter us into pieces in a matter of seconds. Islamic teachings are so clear and beautiful about this, and one example can be found through the practice of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) who called smiling as an act of charity. We can notice it for ourselves, staying around positive, happy and smiling people makes us happy as well, while constant negativity can generate negative thoughts and depression.

Many a time, we love to pick on other people’s shortcomings without thinking about the impact this can have on them. Nowadays, rudeness and unkindness are sometimes conflated with being straightforward or ‘telling it how it is’. However, the Holy Quran has forbidden Muslims to act this way and commands them to proceed with wisdom while making use of their tongue:

‘O ye who believe! fear Allah, and say the right word. He will reform your conduct for you and forgive you your sins. And whoso obeys Allah and His Messenger, shall surely attain a mighty success.’ (33:71-72)

The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) explained what is meant by “saying the right word” in his commentary of this verse. He said that the Arabic term used in the verse, Qawl e Sadeed (the right word) entails uttering what is completely true and appropriate and has no hint of randomness, uselessness and falsehood. Therefore, a word that may be true but is not appropriate for a given time and place and can cause hurt and discord is completely uncalled for in Islam.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that can encourages directness and being upfront to the extent that it has become common, for example, to give an opinion on a person’s height, weight and looks – as if the worth of a human being can only be gauged by these externalities rather than possessing high moral qualities and principles.

Ramadan is a month where God calls men and women alike to take a deeper look inside. It is not only a month to give up food, but also a way to look after everything we utter. The purpose is not merely to abstain from using bad words, but to work on our ways of saying things that can sound rude and hurtful. The words we utter define us an individual and enable the other to perceive the human being that we are.

As Ahmadi Muslims, our words shouldn’t hurt, rather they should heal for we not only believe in the Prophet that God has referred as ‘a mercy for mankind’, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) but have also accepted his Promised Messiah (peace be on him) who was sent by God to cure mankind from all the maladies of the heart and soul.

Ahmadi Muslims must try and be the embodiment and living example of this extraordinary Urdu poetic verse of the Promised Messiah (peace be on him) which means that you should pray for those who verbally abuse you and give comfort to those who hurt you and show humility when you encounter someone inclined to arrogance.

گالیاں سن کے دعا دوپا کے د کھ آرام دو

کبر کی عادت جو دیکھو تم دکھاؤ انکسار