Voice of British Muslim Women

Sarah Ward, London

Control.  That elusive, enigmatic feeling which helps us to feel secure and confident in the world we build around us.  Many people spend a large amount of time, money and energy searching for the feeling of control. You can see this human trait even from a child’s earliest experiences when they exercise choice over the food they take or they loudly protest their feelings towards bath time or sleep schedules. As adults we can select our diet, our jobs, our homes.  This gives us the confidence that we are not at the whims of the universe, but that we are masters of our destiny.  It can feel empowering and make uncertainty less daunting.

But then, along come events which clearly demonstrate that much of the control we seek to exert over our lives is an illusion.  Nothing has illustrated this more in recent times than the emergence of Covid-19.  With very little warning, decisions which would normally have been made by individuals were removed and the common needs of society were given precedence.  No longer could we just walk into a shop and buy what we wanted, go out where we wanted, visit restaurants or even relatives.  Control was now in the hands of others.  Choices were limited.  Emotionally, the change was rapid and adjustment took time.  Many of us learnt a new daily routine, new skills or new coping mechanisms.  Days passed in a blink and we coped. But now we are faced with more change as we leave lockdown and attempt to build a new normal.

It seemed perhaps easy to accept the first changes, it was a rapid response to a crisis but it is only later that the impacts are felt. As time passes, and control is passed back into our own hands, anxiety, for many of us, has begun to creep in.  Certainly, in the days when schools re-opened in June, anxiety was clearly seen. Children, parents and staff were all cautious about leaving lockdown. Many more families and individuals will be facing this anxious return to old routines in the coming weeks. So how can we cope with anxiety and the leaving of strict measures?

Well-being has been at the centre of many reintegration plans.  The five core principles of connect, notice, keep learning, give and be active are recommended by many mental health practitioners.  These principles are not new and are an integral part of many religious philosophies – including Islam.

Connection occurs on a spiritual level through the daily practice of prayers, where a relationship is sought with God directly, through expressing needs and feelings in private prayer.  Connection between congregants at communal prayer has suffered but innovative classes online have helped to fill that void.  Many have also taken the chance to connect with neighbours and community during these hardships. Notice is based on appreciation, a gratitude for what we already have.  The practice of zikr, remembrance of Allah, through recitation of small prayers, as part of a daily routine is a form of noticing.  It helps Muslims to appreciate the moment, to reflect on the blessings they have and to be grateful for them. Giving is a fundamental part of Islam as charity is promoted and even a smile is considered a good act.  Keep learning and being active are also fundamental parts of Islamic practice, the positions and timings of the daily Prayers encourage activity and knowledge as there are also more prayers to memorise.  The spreading of daily Prayers across the day ensures that Muslims carve out some portion of their busy lives to pause, reflect and consider – all beneficial mindful activities.

And while these five aspects of well-being have proven benefits, they cannot bring the control so many of us seek.  They can give structure and direction to our daily activities, they can help us stave off negative thoughts and help us focus on positivity.  The Holy Qur’an itself has said; “ …Aye! it is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts can find comfort” (13:29) And perhaps, that is the reality.  We will never achieve control, too many aspects of life are beyond that, but we can find comfort.  So however high our anxieties, however challenging our health or financial circumstances, we can at least look for comfort.  When we focus our daily routines on remembrance of Allah, on positive reflection, gratitude and appreciation, we can experience comfort.  We must look beyond ourselves for peace because we will never achieve the control we desire, we will always be subject to the changes outside our remit.  Perhaps in the end, the search for comfort is more fulfilling than the search for control.