Nooresahar Ahmad, Hartlepool
Mankind is a social species. We do not do well separated from each other. ‘Loneliness’, which we often perceive simply as an unpleasant emotion, is more significant than that. It is a biological warning which urges us to seek out other people, in the same way hunger reminds us to find food to eat[1]. This is part of the reason why, as coronavirus forces us to stay inside our homes, we find ourselves pining for a return to normality. Because even as our biology pushes us to surround ourselves with others, we have to instead practice social distancing. Of course it’s important that we continue to do this, but it adds to the reasons why coronavirus is so very distressing.
It is surprising, then, to note that long before the arrival of COVID-19, our society was already well-versed in loneliness. In fact, commentators in the 21st century have described loneliness as “an epidemic” and “silent plague”[2]. In light of the situation that we are currently living through, this may seem a tad exaggerative. However, it is true that for a long time now, we have been establishing a society that perpetuates loneliness.
Prior to the 1800s, the word loneliness didn’t even exist in the English language. Before then, there was the term ‘oneliness’, which didn’t have such negative connotations, and described a state of contemplation of God, or of one’s deepest thoughts. Since then, countries such as the UK, Germany, the US and Australia began to practice individualism, using the rise of industry and decline of religion to emphasise that the individual, rather than the community, is what matters[3]. In contrast, the Holy Qur’an emphasises both serving the rights of Allah and those of mankind in order to feel fulfilled – “Those who believe and do good works – happiness shall be theirs…” (13:30)[4]. Since the 18th century, as the importance of these things declined in society, loneliness has rocketed.
In the Holy Qur’an we also see reminders that we need to maintain connections with one another: “…and show kindness to parents, and to kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and to the neighbour that is a kinsman and the neighbour that is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess…” (4:37)[5]. And for good reason. Chronic loneliness increases vulnerability to disease, risk of high blood pressure and heart disease, results in poor sleep[6], and has been associated with increased risk of dementia, even increasing the rate of early death by 26%[7]. Which is why it is so alarming that before there was ever a need to quarantine, so many people in our society have become isolated. In 2019, 28% of households in the US were single-person and in Stockholm in 2012, this figure was at 60%[8]. There are currently 1.2 million chronically lonely older people in the UK, with half a million going at least five or six days a week without seeing or speaking to anyone at all. And it is not just the elderly who are suffering: over 9 million people in the UK across all adult ages are either always or often lonely[9]. In fact, one American study found that young people reported twice as many lonely days as their middle aged counterparts[10].
However, there seems to be a key difference between the loneliness that has long been rampant in our society, and the new loneliness that has accompanied coronavirus- because the latter is not brought about by our neglect of each other, but rather because of our love for one another.
Psychiatrist Carl Jung said that “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself”[11]. As we ‘Stay Home, Save Lives’, now more than ever we are able to communicate properly with one another the things which are important to all of us. As key workers battle for us, as we care for each other and take action to save the lives of people we have never even met, we are reminded that we cannot continue to exist as a society of individuals, but need to carry on as a community.
Perhaps when this pandemic is over, we will be better equipped to tackle the silent plague that is loneliness.
[1] http://nautil.us/blog/-loneliness-is-a-warning-sign-to-be-social
[2] https://theweek.com/articles/798959/history-loneliness
[3] https://theweek.com/articles/798959/history-loneliness
[4] https://www.alislam.org/quran/13:30
[5] https://www.alislam.org/quran/4:37
[6] https://www.vogue.com.au/beauty/wellbeing/is-loneliness-a-21stcentury-epidemic-why-were-all-feeling-more-lonely/news-story/fd9844cc5482f61d33ab74643a7e5e41
[7] https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/how-loneliness-from-coronavirus-isolation-takes-its-own-toll
[8] https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/how-loneliness-from-coronavirus-isolation-takes-its-own-toll
[9] https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/the-facts-on-loneliness/
[10] https://www.vogue.com.au/beauty/wellbeing/is-loneliness-a-21stcentury-epidemic-why-were-all-feeling-more-lonely/news-story/fd9844cc5482f61d33ab74643a7e5e41
[11] https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/60630-loneliness-does-not-come-from-having-no-people-about-one
Voice of British Muslim Women 
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